A friend of mine recently asked me to write a post about becoming more assertive at work. I thought about it for awhile. I don’t actually have much experience working a 9 to 5 job, so how could I be qualified to write about such a subject? Then I remembered something that happened on my first job. Looking back, I’m surprised at just how assertive I was in that moment, and how easy it was to bring about such a significant change.
Being Mistreated By Management
To tell this story I’m going to take you back to my very first job. I was 18 and in college. Somewhere around that time I decided I might as well get a job. I applied at the local Wal-mart overnight crew in hopes of landing an easy position. I was hired and went through the interview process pretty easily, mostly due to the fact that I have a pulse. 
They decided to stick me in grocery. I spent my nights stocking canned food and coffee while socializing with the other workers. I eventually got to know everyone, and in spite of the fact that they were slightly zombified from working all night until dawn every morning, most of them were pretty cool. Until I met Greg.
Greg, Greg, Greg.
He was around 40 years old, and had been working at Wal-mart for way too long. He had the social skills and temperament of an angry baboon whose banana had been taken away. He was rude, unsociable, and generally an asshat.
Unfortunately, he had been promoted to a temporary management position. Even more unfortunately, he didn’t like me. I never really figured out why, either. I think he assumed I was lazy, or maybe he just hated all the new guys. Either way, it was hell when he was there.
When he actually would talk – which was rare – he would just bark orders at me. I would ask him where things were so I could stock them, and he’d just sigh and take it from me and do it himself. He’d walk around with just this walk. The kind someone has when you can tell they’re really in a bad mood. Too bad for everyone around him, he was always in a bad mood.
One day I got sick of this seemingly pointless anger towards me, so I decided to take action.
Becoming Assertive in the Workplace
I spoke to a friend I had made about Greg. I asked him why he was so rude. He told me not to take it personally – that was just how he was to everyone. He also joked around that someday me and Greg would walk through the Wal-mart doors laughing, being the best of friends. For whatever reason, I took that to heart.
One night at the store I was feeling particularly gregarious and energetic. I finished my aisle early, so I went to help my newly made friend with his work. It just so happened that Greg was helping him too. Then I did something really, really odd.
I’m not sure what led to it. Maybe I was bolstered by my friends presence, or maybe I was just feeling goofy that night, but it would be one of the weirdest conversations I’ve ever had with someone. I walked up to Greg and had the following little chat, which probably surprised me as much as him.
Me: Hey, Greg.
Greg: -incoherent mumble-
Me: Yeah, so, you know what? You and I, Greg. We’re going to be best friends. Absolutely best friends. Got it?
Greg: -mouth drops in awe- What?
Me: Yep, you and I, we’re going to be buddies from now on. I think that’ll be fun.
Greg: Okay.. -walks away-
Me: -yelling after him- I can’t wait!
From that point on we were pals. I kid you not. We laughed and joked around just like my friend said we would. We bonded over chicken noodle soup and cans of Taco Bell brand beans. We even made fun of the other new people and how lazy and incompetent they were. It was great!
You Determine Your Relationships
As it turns out, he had another job in addition to the one at Wal-mart. He didn’t have many friends, his marriage had fallen through, and was probably treated like crap his entire life. He just assumed everyone was going to be rude to him, so he did it first. All it took was someone assertive enough to break his script and not tolerate his crap.
He was deeply, deeply unconscious. He’s the kind of guy that was pretty much sleep walking through life. When I look back at what happened, I realize the power of living consciously. As an awakened human being, you don’t have to fall for other people’s foolish patterns of behavior. You can break their train of thought and create an entirely new dynamic for your relationship.
Sometimes, all it takes is a friendly gesture. You don’t have to craft anything fancy. Even telling them how they’re going to treat you will work, just like it worked for me.
You simply need the guts to follow through with your intentions. Being assertive at work and getting what you want isn’t hard, it just takes action.
If there’s someone in your life that needs you to tell it like it is to them, then go do it right now. You’ll be surprised at what happens next.
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Wow, not where I thought that was going… even better
Thank you, sir.
Thanks Emily.
That is neat-o! Was his name really Greg, or did you steal naming everyone Greg from me? lol
You try this a lot with me, but I think I am a little bit tougher to break! maybe I shouldn’t be such a GREG!
Haha I stole your idea of naming everything Greg. I don’t know if it would really be a problem using his real name, but I decided against it.
Fred, you have an uncanny way of dealing with people. Whatever you are doing, it works for you. Maybe an e-book in the future on how to deal with difficult people. Just a thought.
Thanks! And that’s a good idea, I didn’t think of that one. We shall see.
nice Read Fred
that’s an article that anyone who works anywhere needs
thanks:)
Thank you good sir. Just tell it like it is – always the best policy!
[...] Tracy presents How To Become More Assertive At Work posted at Personal Development, saying, “This article is about a situation I had at work. A [...]