Happy Valentine’s Day! Today’s post is going to be all about – you guessed it – love! It’s fredtracy.com’s very first February 14th. I feel like a proud father watching his child take his first steps.
Falling in Love
How many times have you heard the phrase, “I fell in love.” You can’t think of anything but that other person. Every time you’re around them you feel positively high – and psychologically speaking, that’s pretty accurate. You’re on Cloud 9 for days and days. Even just thinking of that special someone will give you an incredible sense of euphoria. It feels great, but there’s also a dark side.
I was browsing some forums recently, and I ran into a person who was wondering why they always fell for the wrong type of guys. She had a lot of ideas about it, and seemed to be spending a large amount of time analyzing the whole problem. In my usual cut-to-the-chase style, I simply asked her: If you don’t want to be with those type of guys, then why do you get with them? Her answer: “Because I fell in love.”
Are You a Victim of Your Emotions?
Personal development is all about learning to become your own master. She didn’t need to figure out why she was attracted to the wrong kind of guys. She needed to get control over her emotions. She needed to realize that she can consciously choose her actions, regardless of how she feels.
Do you find that you fall in love with the wrong kind of people consistently? Consider that you might be addicted to that emotion. What is it about the rush of dopamine and other hormones that you need? Are you hiding from some glaring problem in your life?
Consciously Choose to Love
The idea that love is something that just happens to us is pretty common today, but that doesn’t make it true. “Falling in love” is only a popular phrase because not taking responsibility for your inner world is equally popular. Once you make the decision to take charge of your life, falling in love doesn’t seem quite accurate anymore. Learning how to create and harness the power of love is something that every conscious person can do.
Let’s say that your marriage is on shaky grounds. You don’t feel the way you once did about your wife, and it’s causing a lot of trouble. She feels less valued, you feel like you aren’t giving her what she deserves, and you’re both arguing all the time. If you decide to wait until the passion reignites to take action, you’re going to be waiting quite awhile.
Although mass media would have you believe the opposite, love isn’t just a noun. Love is a verb. Don’t passively wait until you feel love for someone. If you want to feel it, then go create it. Appreciate her. Tell her how much you care about her. You’ll find that the emotion of love will flow out of your actions.
Love is a choice, not some irresistible urge that invades your life from time to time. You don’t have to be swept up by every emotion that you happen to have.
If you’ve fallen out of love with someone, consider that you may have some role to play in that. Evaluate whether or not you really want to love that person, and act accordingly. If you don’t, then distance yourself from them – easy enough. But if you do, then spend some time thinking about how you can show them how much they really mean to you. As one of the few people who realize how much control you really have over your life, it’s your duty to live up to that.
To love, or not to love, that is the question. But only if you’re conscious enough to ask it in the first place.
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