Lately I’ve been applying for jobs as well as using some of my free time to spice up my love life, which basically involves approaching strange women that I don’t know and getting them to talk to me. I have noticed that both of these processes have a lot in common with each other. If there was one main commonality, it would be this: it’s all a numbers game.
That’s really all it is. A lot of things in life are like this too, whether it be dating, career, or even just finding a good deal on a car. You have to learn to go through the numbers game, facing rejection after rejection until you get the required experience. And even after you get experience from some successes under your belt, you will still fail over and over. Being really good at most things just means that you fail less than the average guy. It does not mean that you will not ever fail again.
After all, the only people who never fail are the people who never try.
Learn to Love the Numbers Game
Because success in so many things in life boils down to trying over and over, you really have to learn to enjoy the process if you want to achieve your goals. This means a couple of things. First of all, you can’t be too fixated on one particular manifestation of your goal. This means that your dreams should include some ambiguity. For example, instead of your ultimate job being to work at Google, you could change that goal to working at a top-tier IT firm, which may or may not include Google. Make the goal something achievable, yet vague enough that it can be delivered in many different forms into your life.
Internalizing this concept will bring the next principle into your life automatically, which is essentially becoming immune to failure. When you value one thing very highly and fail at it, it’s likely that you’ll suffer a big ego blow. You might even become depressed. But when you play the numbers game and understand that there are a million opportunities that you will seek out after this one little failure, then it becomes a very easy thing to keep trying.
You value each manifestation of your goal less, which significantly lessens the hardship endured when you don’t get it, simply because you know that you will try over and over until something does work.
Remember to Value What You Have
This concept does not mean that you shouldn’t value what you get when you receive it. If you land a really great job or mate, you should rejoice and be happy. You can even discontinue the numbers game if you find yourself content with your current state. Just because you are casting your fishing line far and wide in the searching process does not mean that you can’t appreciate your catch. But you must wait until there is a catch to appreciate it. Avoid creating too many dreams and future plans with something that you don’t yet have – that’s a surefire recipe for being hurt.
Therefore, the optimum attitude is one of incredible abundance and lack of individual concern when going through a system that requires a numbers game. This reduces the negative psychological impact of failure while simultaneously increasing your chance of going out there and seeking after what you want. Once the system pulls you in something that you want, either discontinue it or at least adjust your attitude to what you received. Rather than not appreciating it because it is one of many tries in your system, approach it as something that is highly valued because you finally “caught” it. You don’t want to be getting a lot of good things and not caring about them!
And of course, don’t forget to appreciate what you already have, regardless of what you may seek in the future.
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